Ambiversion

Do you think I’m an Extrovert or an Introvert?? This question has bugged me for a while, because I can never seem to fit into either category. When asked, I describe myself as an Etroverted Introvert! This morning I decided to do some research on line and discovered that there is actually a term for people like me. I would usually wait and put this at the bottom of the blog but if I put it here then you can get the punchline without necessarily having to read through the full blog:

Ambiversion is a term used to describe people who fall more or less directly in the middle and exhibit tendencies of both groups. An ambivert is normally comfortable with groups and enjoys social interaction, but also relishes time alone and away from the crowd.

Why should I care? Well, I see a huge benefit in understanding our own personalities. One thing that marks maturity is us learning ourselves, so that we can operate most effectively. Over the years I have had to take a large number of personality tests which all tend to say similar things, with the exception of this one continuum.

I’ve got some definitions of Extrovert and Introvert below and as you read through think about two things. What am I like when I’m with people? and What am I like when I’m alone?

Extraversion is “the act, state, or habit of being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self“. Extraverts tend to enjoy human interactions and to be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive, and gregarious. They take pleasure in activities that involve large social gatherings, such as parties, community activities, public demonstrations, and business or political groups. Acting, teaching, directing, managing, brokering are fields that favor extraversion. An extraverted person is likely to enjoy time spent with people and find less reward in time spent alone. They enjoy risk-taking and often show leadership abilities.

An extravert is energized when around other people. Extraverts tend to “fade” when alone and can easily become bored without other people around. Extraverts tend to think as they speak. When given the chance, an extravert will talk with someone else rather than sit alone and think.

So, how do I fare in this category? I am outward focused and get a lot of pleasure from external, sensory events. I thoroughly enjoy human interaction, and yeh, I can be enthusiastic, talkative, assertive… Teaching, managing, directing are things that I have a natural bent towards. I am a huge risk-taker, and I have no doubt that God has molded me for leadership. I am energized by people! BUT I’m not a huge fan of large social gatherings… parties and the like intimidate me. I don’t agree that there is no reward in time alone… I tend to “fade” when I’ve been around people because I find it pretty draining. When it comes to me and God, I often daydream of running off to a monastery and living in solitude reading Scripture and spending day on end in prayer… not the most extrovert fantasy.

Introversion is “the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one’s own mental life“. Introverts tend to be quiet, low-key, deliberate, and relatively non-engaged in social situations. They take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, drawing, watching movies, listening to music, inventing, designing, programming and using computers extensively. The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, composer and inventor are all highly introverted. An introverted person is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people (although they tend to enjoy interactions with close friends, and are in many cases married). They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate.

An introvert is energized when alone. Introverts tend to “fade” when with people and can easily become overstimulated with too many others around. Introverts tend to think before speaking.

What about this catergory? Well, I’m definitely a thinker, there’s no doubt about that. I am deliberate and ‘serious’ and do have my low-key days. I absolutely cherish the time I get to spend in solitary activity, so reading, writing, drawing, watching movies, listening to music, playing music too. In my faith, I could spend hours alone in prayer, reading and meditating on Scripture, worshipping at the piano or on guitar, and reading biographies of the great men of faith. Time alone is precious and I often choose that over being in large groups. When I’m at home and there’s a party, I often duck out and head upstairs to my room for some alone time. I love watching and often in new situations I will observe what’s going on, learn how things work and then jump in feet first. I recharge alone because people are draining. I usually think before I speak. BUT I’m not non-engaged in social situations. Too much alone time and I start itching to be around people. The work fields suggested do not sound great to me at all. When I’m comfortable with people or situations I am very energetic. I’m not necessarily energised alone as much as I recharge alone. And I don’t know if I’ve ever been overstimulated with too many others around.

So I’m both… or neither! And today I discovered I am an ambivert! To repeat the definition…

Ambiversion is a term used to describe people who fall more or less directly in the middle and exhibit tendencies of both groups. An ambivert is normally comfortable with groups and enjoys social interaction, but also relishes time alone and away from the crowd.

When I take quantifiable personality tests I usually come out 50/50. On the Myres Briggs I usually test ESTJ … E being Extrovert (kinda depends on how much time I’ve had with people before taking it!  If I’ve been around people a lot I test ISTJ) This semester I was asked to take one that scored each personality trait, and it scored me as E because I’m on a continuum from -100 to 100 I scored 1… which means I’m barely an extrovert!

Extroverts are outward focused, and exert energy outwardly, which is definitely true of me! But that is so draining for me that if I don’t have an equal amount of time with people and time with God, I burn out. People often worry that I’ll burn out because I’m always really busy. I’m constantly on the go, but as I think over my busy schedule… I see that when I have lots of people time in my week, I squeeze in an equal amount of alone time… and so although it’s busy, it’s balanced and so I manage to work well coping with a high capacity lifestyle. I really enjoy being busy.

People who know me well know that I process A LOT! I find that I can be stuck for words when a professor asks me a question in class because I hear what he says and my mind races ahead applying the new knowledge to various facets of life and ministry. If they ask me a question that is several steps back in my thought process, I’m lucky if I even hear the question, let alone answer it.

Anyway… what was the point in writing all this? Partly it was so that the people who are keeping up with me get to learn some more about me (Extrovert) and partly it’s just my way of processing through some of what I’m learning about myself so that I know more about how I operate (Introvert). I enjoy thinking that by laying out my thought processes, other people can read and identify with what I say, and learn something about themselves, or be challenged to explore more of who they are (Ambivert).

So there you have it. Extrovert? Introvert? I’m an AMBIVERT.