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Close every door to me 3rd April, 2006

Posted by Scotty in Friends, Heart, Life, Me, Multnomah, Spirituality.

How many times in my Christian life have I heard the phrase

“God will close a door, before He’ll open a window”

I’ve been through life circumstances in the past that I’ve not enjoyed, and it’s my automatic human response to say, “I don’t have to put up with this, I shall [fill in the blank]” (eg. leave my job, quit the course, stop working with them, etc). It’s our human reaction to hide when things are tough.

There’s been a few things in my life when I’ve seen myself ready to walk away, but in each situation a wiser Christian has said quoted that phrase to me. And in each of those circumstances I’ve had to grin and bear it, knowing that I’d only be running away from an issue, when God would rather use it to teach me some crucial lesson.

It’s frustrating, submitting (there’s that word again), to God’s will in those situations, and I’ve often asked myself, what would “closing the door” look like? how will I know when doors are being closed and God is calling me elsewhere?

So… backtrack… to this time last year. I felt God say that he wanted me at Multnomah Biblical Seminary to study… Again I’m plagued in my mind with that old saying! I feel that a window is open, but I don’t see the door closed? do I need to be sacked? do my friends need to run off and never speak to me again? my parents disown me? what does a closed door look like?

Well, now it’s a year later, and in 4 months I’ll be leaving to pursue ‘my calling’. And all of a sudden, I’m seeing doors close all around me. Troubles at work have made things hard, and in the last week I’ve realised it is part of closure. God is stripping me of the desire to stay working in Ayr. As much as I’ve loved the organisation, he’s closing the door here!

There’s been specific people in my life who have been there for me through thick and thin… people that I’ve heard myself say “I don’t know how I could head off and leave them behind”. And hear I am, a year later, with some of my closest friends being very distant. That feeling of disconnectedness hurts… until you realise that God is entering into the lives of your friends and filling your shoes! In otherwords… closing a door!

And slowly, as I look round all of the facets of my life, and wonder why things seem to be… ?different? … I realise that from the most major, to the smallest part of my life, God is closing the doors, making it possible for me to leave this life behind, to pursue my calling, and to know that life here will go on. It has been my prayer… God… fill my shoes in all these areas, with people who can do a better job than I ever could… not only is God closing doors, but once again He shows that He faithfully answers the prayers of those who seek him.

So, I’m watching God do the most amazing thing, and prepare not only me, but the people and places around me for my departure, and already I’m filling with an excitement as I look around at the people I love knowing that God has something even greater stored up for them than what I could do/be. And I live excited with the prospect of the amazing things I shall learn and experience as God leads me on into a new chapter of my life.

May His name be praised!



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