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Conflict Management Style 7th March, 2006

Posted by Scotty in Church, Heart, Leadership, Me.
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Well, we did a test with the Re:Hope Leadership team today. "discover your conflict management style". It was a 45 question, choose a or b for your answer type test, and at the end you fill in a table which reveals your conflict management style. There are 6 main ones (persuade, compel, avoid/accomodate, collaborate, negotiate, support), which we all resort to at different times, but if you score over 8 in any, it's considered one of your stronger ones!

Our team is dominated by Avoid/Accomodate types. That is, people who shy away from conflict. Either from fear of the conflict, or because of a high value on the relationship. I on the other hand didn't come across so caring. One thing I will draw to your attention before I go on: when doing the test, you have to answer in regard to conflict within the team… and PRAISE GOD… I have no conflicts to draw from, so instead had to think in a general, across-the-board view of conflicts.

My conflict management style turned out as "Persuade, Compel, Negotiate". So what does this mean. Well… in a situation of conflict, I naturally stick to my argument, and try to persuade the other person that my way is right! I guess it could be articulated as a desire to win?! After that, compel and negotiate were tied. Compel (otherwise called force) is where you use whatever means you have (authority, etc) to overrule their decision. And then negotiate, which is where you bargain with the person so that you get the most out of the situation!

I left the meeting reflecting on it, and acknowledging situations I see these things occuring in… and looking at myself in terms of Christ, and thinking… I need to learn to be more gracious. After all, the bible teaches that we are to "Love our neighbour", and to "die to self", and in conflict, I resort to a self-win mode.

So… grace! Am I gracious? And do I love my neigbour?

On the positive flip side, it went into details of where to use each of the styles, and where not to implement them, and I felt myself nodding in agreement. I thank God for the way He has grown me up in leadership. In most of the situations mentioned, I naturally resorted to the recommended conflict management style.

And so I smile… knowing that I long for heaven. I live for the Kingdom of God… a place where conflict is non-existant, because we are all consumed by one thing… and one thing only – worshipping God.

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